Student and Guardian journalists! Listen! Wear the keffiyeh scarf and it'll guarantee peace and lots of fluffiness in Gaza, Afghanistan, Oxbridge, Manningham and Sparkbrook.
Feel the radical transformation of your political soul into a Palestinian peace-loving killer’s soul as you don the mighty Arafat scarf. Humble your parents with their right-wing suits and ties. Tune into the student vibe of Hamas titillatory violence and peace. Forget the sexy black Black Panthers of yesterday, with their virile and manly black machismo, here comes Brown Exotic Hamas Power in the form of a 100% cotton, machine-washable and non-biodegradable scarf. Can be worn anywhere.
Beware, stocks of keffiyeh scarves are running dangerously low. Thai sweatshops are unable to utilise enough child labour to satisfy the British student demand for this exemplary non-capitalist child-workers’ product.